***

 

 "Well... look, I think the question I get asked the most is... I mean, it happens a lot. Enough that I would remark on it. A lot of people come up to me and they say, "Tom, is it possible for a woman to get pregnant without intercourse?" And eh my answer is always the same. I say, "Well, listen. We're gonna have to go all the way back to the Civil War." Apparently, a stray bullet actually pierced the testicle of a Union soldier, and then lodged itself in the ovaries of an eighteen year old girl, who was actually a hundred feet from him at the time. Well, the baby was fine. She was very happy, guilt free and eh... Of course, the soldier was a little pissed off. When you think about it, it's actually a FORM of intercourse, but NOT... for everyone. Those who love ACTION maybe."

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